Indulge me for a minute to write my thoughts on the Oscar nominated movie MARRIAGE STORY on Netflix…
I saw a clip of marriage story on twitter and I read the reaction in the comments from people who felt the two actors were badly portraying their emotion- something they call “bad acting”.
While I didn’t agree with them, I also did not side the movie because I had not seen it for myself. I like to read a book or see a film before I pass my review. And after seeing it few days ago, I have to say The emotional depth of the movie was worth getting the movie nominated for major awards. And I had to disagree with the twitter critics because it is impossible to judge a movie by a scene cut without fully watching the buildup performances by the two actors (Adam Driver and Scarlet Johansson.) both whose characters lashed out on each other and blamed each other for the breakdown of their marriage. This is true about every marriage that ends with a divorce, someone wants to be the winner and they’ll both fight nastily to be that winner. However, as a viewer I think what the movie teaches us is the importance of love languages and why it is very important to love your partner the way THEY want to be loved. It leaves you with this feeling of contempt if you both end up assuming for the other person. It is suffocating to be with a selfish partner having things done Their own way whilst you remain the one who holds the marriage or relationship together.
We need to give room for individuality even in a partnership.
The way I see it, love is a person or a being or a gift shared between two or more people. It is an unspoken pact that binds two souls together. It requires a show or action and with this comes languages; these languages are what propels the nuances of one’s emotions towards another being. It is a means of communication between two people. No matter how perfect two people are together we all possess different love languages, which means we all crave to be loved. However, we crave to be loved differently.
Apparently, according to Google there are 5 love languages.
- Words of Afformation
- Acts of service
- Receiving gifts
- Quality time
- Physical touch
“Each one is important and expresses love in its own way” – Google.com
You have to understand your own love language so as to be able to confidently tell someone when they are not showing you love your own way. You also need to learn your partner’s love language(s) and figure out if you can love them the way they want to be loved.
No one deserves an requited love. You have to know where you stand in someone’s life no matter how deep y’all have gotten in that relationship. Do you love PDA i.e Public Display of Affection? Does your partner hate it?
Most importantly, does he know you love PDA? Perhaps if you tell them that you do maybe it will ease communication between the two of you and y’all can work towards understanding your love languages. We often assume that what is obvious to us has to be obvious to the people in our lives. And this is far from true. Even our parents exhibits love through different mediums. Why not a partner?
It is valentine and in the spirit of love and intimacy, I implore you know what your valentine/partner want before ordering that expensive gift or dinner plans.
What is your love language?