TOP 5 PHASES YOU WILL GO THROUGH AS A NIGERIAN

SOMEWHERE IN LAUTECH, OGBOMOSO
  1. You are to be named on the 8th day you are born. A ceremony needs to be organised for your arrival; the birth certificate is necessary but is the ceremony that certifies your existence in the family. (celebration of existence)
  2. As you grow older, you will probably have questions about this place called Nigeria. You will wonder why people are comfortable with being cheated on by their government. You will worry why pain and regrets are handled in hush tones never to be spoken of again. You will wonder why no one talks about their pain, always glorifying their arrogance and never finding solutions to their problems. (sweep issues under the rug)
  3. As a young man in your 20s, while someone your age in Boston or Toronto probably is building a life for himself from his career or job, you are being harassed by the adults in your neighbourhood and the police on the streets. Why? Because how dare you? You cannot have all these legally; you must be doing some illegal shii to be financially stable. (Police brutality)
  4. There will always be political uncertainty. It has been in existence since we were born. Nothing good comes from elections. Campaigns are all about bags of rice and empty promises. (Poverty is a mental sickness)
  5. University is where you discover yourself. Not because the educational system is good (it is the worst to be honest) but because university is actually a social experiment. It is where you will learn and realize about people like you, where you will understand that most of us do not have our shit together but we pretend like we do.

There are probably a billion other phases I could write on because to be Nigerian is to be accustomed to uncertainty so much that it had become so predictable…

 

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