It is okay to love someone with all your heart but do not be surprised when they break your trust.
– My mother.
‘’In Trevor Noah’s book ‘’BORN A CRIME’’, his dedication was heartfelt.
For my mother. My first fan. Thank you for making me a man.’’
A reviewer said the book was a love letter to Noah’s mum; he could not be more apt.
If you have read the book, you would understand how important it is for every one – men especially – to be raised by a feminist woman.
Now, hold your horses anti-feminist. I know how toxic that word ‘’feminist’’ has become in Nigeria. However, re-brand it all you want, that term is simply a harmless word guarding a powerful message. You will understand how it feels to be raised by a feminist woman if we all just push aside the extremeness that has come with the name. I was raised by a feminist, so I do understand what it means and what pressure I feel to lay a good example for my kids too. Why? Because it is very important!
I am not sure if my mum subscribes to the term ‘’feminist’’ but I do not believe you need to know a general name for an act before you can practice its characteristics. My mum should not be described as strong because that term basically waters down the emphasis of her humanness, because in this society to be a strong woman is to be immune to emotions and weakness; to always act ‘’act like a man’’ and be ruthless which I feel is bullshit.
Rather I will describe her as someone who is aware of her humanness and her femininity. She is smart enough to understand that her happiness is a priority because she cannot give what she does not have. I often enjoy watching her, paying to further her education and formal training, treating herself to personal shopping or relaxation after a month of continuous hard work. Why? Because she deserves it! Every mother who works hard deserves to play hard. They were first a woman before becoming a wife and mother (in no particular order)
She never lets you cheat her or look down on her especially when it is because of her gender. I really should start a YouTube vlog just for moments with my mum during carpools and traffics; when a stupid driver tries to overtake her or ‘’chance’’ her. She would say ‘’they think I cannot drive abi, because I am a woman and my car is small. I will show them today.’’
God, I love this woman!
So regardless of your gender, when you are raised by a feminist woman you will know to stand up for yourself, you will be self-aware of the ills of gender appropriation in our society. You will not deny the existence of a system that has been placed in the society to favor the males than the men. Rather you will ask questions like ”How can I make it right?”. You will do something to dismantle that system. You will be taught the right way to treat human regardless of their gender, you will not keep silent when you feel someone is being cheated.
My move, what is yours?